Mediator Strengths

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■ Idealistic – Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship.

■ Seek and Value Harmony – People with the Mediator personality type have no interest in having power over others, and don’t much care for domineering attitudes at all. They prefer a more democratic approach, and work hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.

■ Open-Minded and Flexible – A live-and-let-live attitude comes naturally to Mediators, and they dislike being constrained by rules. Mediators give the benefit of the doubt too, and so long as their principles and ideas are not being challenged, they’ll support others’ right to do what they think is right.

■ Very Creative – Mediators combine their visionary nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated poets and authors.

■ Passionate and Energetic – When something captures Mediators’ imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project. Their shyness keeps them from the podium, but they are the first to lend a helping hand where it’s needed.

■ Dedicated and Hard-Working – While others focusing on the challenges of the moment may give up when the going gets tough, Mediators (especially Assertive ones) have the benefit of their far-reaching vision to help them through. Knowing that what they are doing is meaningful gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose and even courage when it comes to accomplishing something they believe in.

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Mediator Weaknesses

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■ Too Idealistic – Mediators often take their idealism too far, setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and again, evil things happen in the world. This is true on a personal level too, as Mediators may not just idealize their partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no one is perfect.

■ Too Altruistic – Mediators sometimes see themselves as selfish, but only because they want to give so much more than they are able to. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they try to push themselves to commit to a chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.

■ Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they can neglect practical matters like day-to-day maintenance and simple pleasures. Sometimes people with the Mediator personality type will take this asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they pursue their passion or cause.

■ Dislike Dealing With Data – Mediators are often so focused on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees. Mediators are in tune with emotions and morality, and when the facts and data contradict their ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.

■ Take Things Personally – Mediators often take challenges and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their positions. Avoiding conflict as much as possible, Mediators will put a great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody.

■ Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know, and their need for these qualities contributes to the guilt they often feel for not giving more of themselves to those they care about.

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Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None

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Fortunately these are qualities that Mediators are known for, and while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, Mediators’ tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value, dedication and trust.

Mediators share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.

But Mediators aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible. In dating, Mediators will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with Mediators’ rich imagination and moral standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with Mediators likely sighing that “it wasn’t meant to be.”

As a relationship takes hold, people with the Mediator personality type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting their partners’ independence. Mediators take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change. While Mediators are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve – or, put another way, that they’re not good enough. Mediators would be aghast to find that their intents were interpreted this way, but it’s a real risk, and if their partner is as averse to conflict as Mediators themselves, it can boil under the surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.